Tsara's Column

Updated/Revised Date: 6th Jan 2023
Author: Sexual Diversity | Contact: SexualDiversity.org
Additional References: Tsara's Column Publications

Synopsis: Tsara's Column, by writer and author Tsara Shelton, features articles and musings on sexuality and sexual diversity-related topics.

Main Section

As far back as my earliest memories, I've been sexually aware. The physical feelings, the stories my mind created, the colors that danced behind my eyes, it all enticed me. I sought it out. I wasn't seeking sex, but sexuality itself. Oh, not all the time. I was also seeking good books to read and songs to sing along to and skipping ropes to jump over. But an innate interest in my sexual self has always been awake. However, my journey to sexual health was not simple or clear. It was often dangerous, sometimes traumatic and tempting to abandon.

Meanwhile, my mom raised eight vastly different children on her own. Guiding us through puberty took courage, creativity, and clarity. Where my autistic brothers were concerned, the need for clear talk and open minds was colossal. Because of this I was granted a unique opportunity to learn about sexuality in a diverse world from an important perspective. Seeing my brothers' sexual desires and needs as entirely common yet not commonly recognized or related to, while having a mom who insisted on their right to discover safe ways to experience their sexual selves, clued me in to the value of our sexuality. Of having it recognized and respected.

My mom has since guided families around the globe with similar challenges related to disability or difference. For a short time, she worked in the field of romance and sex. For a much longer time, over thirty years, she has been an active international Brain Change and Behavior expert. (Learn more about her by clicking this link: Dr. Lynette Louise, The Brain Broad) As her oldest daughter and personal assistant, I am on the sidelines of learning how, regardless of culture, economic status, religion, or skillset, our sexuality requires attention, open minds, and validation. Also, guidance. To be healthy and safe sexually we must learn what that means.

I have over and over again learned to see things differently and opened my mind up to new ways, thanks to having a radically diverse family. It is because of the vastly different styles of people I learn from and listen to that I, myself, have ultimately been gifted the life altering pleasure of getting to know and grow my own sexual self.

I am not an expert. I am not a researcher. I am simply someone who has always been interested in sexuality and who is often surrounded by people whose sexual wants or needs are uncommon. I am also addicted to following my thoughts to the core of themselves and sharing that journey. Not because I come up with something "right" that needs to be known, but because the journey is enlightening and invigorating; it shakes me in some way that feels worth sharing. After all, similar stories shared by others are often what move me to discover new ideas. Also, I have learned that by putting my perspective out into the world I am more willing to let it go, stop holding it so close that yet another new idea is blocked from my view.

Welcome to my Sexual Diversity column.

I hope you discover new and enlightening ideas here. (Even if it is as you rebut mine while reading. In my view, that is a worthy conversation between us.)

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